Lately, it feels like I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster: fear, anger, uncertainty, sadness, anxiety, and moments of helplessness—it’s overwhelming. Each morning starts with me checking in on my loved ones, and I’m greeted with a flood of messages from my supportive cohort, professors, friends, and colleagues. But instead of jumping into work like I used to, I find myself glued to the news, spending hours in disbelief. By noon, I try to push myself back into work because, in this chaos, it’s the only thing I feel like I can control.
Yet, as soon as I open my laptop, I freeze. My mind feels scattered, tasks that should take an hour stretch on for what feels like an eternity. I message my partner, telling him, “I can’t do this.” And even though I try to push through, there’s this constant tug—this feeling that focusing on work means I’m ignoring the weight of what’s happening around me.
As someone studying educational equity and human capital development, I’m often at a loss for words when my cohort asks about what’s happening in my country. I draft daily to-do lists, hoping to reclaim some normalcy, but by the end of the day, I’ve barely made a dent in them. By night, it’s the same story—prayers and tears, longing for peace.
Despite all of this, we keep moving forward. Whether we’re professionals working for change or individuals caring for our communities, we share a commitment to growth, peace, and progress. Even when productivity slows and the weight of the world feels unbearable, we hold on to hope—hope that one day, we’ll witness the change we’ve worked so hard for. I dream of that day, when peace finally finds us here in Lebanon.
Through conversations with colleagues, I’ve realized that resilience is something deeply ingrained in us. I’m not alone in feeling that work, even in the chaos, offers a sense of purpose and reminds us that we’re still moving toward a better future. I hope we live to see that day when real change arrives.
In the meantime, let’s be gentle with ourselves.
#Lebanon
This blog was published on edubridges on October 30, 2024
